A fat kid gone wild. 5:59 PM
Wow. Relooking at how I've been, I realised I've been quite crazy ever since A levels results were out.
Nope, no fantastic grades. GP-B, CSE-C, Math-B, Econs-C, Physics-D. Well, I must say, except for Math, which I had gotten an A in school before, the grades of my other subjects are my best performance in my entire life in SAJC. Praise be to God!!!
So what happened after results?It started with back to back camps from 9th Mar till 20th Mar. First was 2 back-to-back camps at Sarimbun Scouts Camp from 9th-13th Mar. There, I had the worst campfire ever, and why? Because I was part of the emcee crew. And we sure did screw up big time for HCI campfire, handling a cohort of about 500, and quite a number of new trainers. We had to set up our own campfire site, 'cause the usual ones won't fit all. There, everything started snowballing. Hmmm... But oh well, a great lesson learnt. Thank you to all who forgave me, and who were there for me to make me feel better... (Radzi, Ismail, Calvin, Xin Ru, and as always, Kiaboon. Your presence is enough.)
Then had Life Concert preparation camp from 13th-15th Mar. Had the chance to sleep on my bed on the night of 15th before going for camps at DFAC from 16th-20th Mar. Mac feedbacked to us that those were one of the few camps where he didn't lose his temper. *APPLAUSE* After finishing camp, I went to meet up with Odds & Ends to jam at BeatMerchants. Shiok!!! 'Cause it had been like... Weeks since we last jammed?? LOL. Super rusty, everybody, but all had fun. I was too tired to join them to chill out at J'Co, so I went home. And yes, I didn't manage to wake up for cell group the next morning:/
Sunday was a last minute outing requested by Pika and Gavin. So the few of us, (Anna, Gina, Priya, Constance, Gabriel, Keith, Shankar, Gavin, Pika, Ruihe, Suresh, Chi Yee) went to Sentosa. That day was more tiring, probably due to the better weather. We played more sports too; Touch rugby first, then ultimate frisbee, volleyball and contact rugby again. Many injuries at contact rugby. People got scratched, collided head to head, bit himself, got sat on, etc. BUT, as usual, it was ALL FUN!!! Super sunburnt, but it was worth it. Chilled at B&J's and enjoyed Merlionster, where Wai Leong joined us after. (Wai Leong, you are missed!!!) Created our own share of fun at the play corner outside Vivo level 2. Now I know why trainers are such a special bunch of people - we create our own share of fun, anytime, anywhere!!! Went to Brotveit to get a drink or two, where Calvin and Xin Ru joined us after their fair share of crabs... Basically, to sum it up, it was a AWESOME day out.
Not enough of craziness?? I cycled to school every morning. And then I cycled in to Sarimbun on Tuesday evening. CYCLED IN. YES, I know I stay at like cck only, but HELLO!!! The route to Sarimbun ain't easy at all. Freaking ups and downs killed me all, plus the McDonald's in my bag that I had to bring in, and the darkness I had to face on my way out. I started the travel at about 1830, and ended back at the cckcc at about 2110... SUPER TIRING. I won't mind cycling in again la, but not alone. It's too draining from me...
Alright, craziness ends here. It's two weeks of relief teaching at SCSS for me. Break time to rest, to reconnect with God. That is something that I must get going at. Because of all the activities above, I haven't been spending time with God. Even during these 4 days of rest, I haven't been doing my QT proper. I feel so far away from God, that I realised that God is slowly disappearing from my life. I don't know where to start from about getting back to God. Good thing is that the Lord gave me an encouragement in camp - Gavin. One who faces the same struggles as I do, but at the same time, chose not to let things be that way. And the both of us are trying to get God back in our lives. Bad thing is that I recently found out that some of my friends whom I least expected it are smoking. I just felt so lost, so discouraged. I felt like ditching them, not calling them friends at all. But at the same time, I know it's not the way. I'm just really really upset, and I will, continue to pray for the two of them.
Also, I need to pray for my walk of faith to be so much stronger than now.
God, I need to fix my eyes on You. I need to seek You and desire You more than I am doing so now. God, without You, I know I cannot survive. It is You who gives me strength, who brings me through my everyday. God, help me. Bring me back to You. My Lord, help me to clear my mind off whatever sinful thoughts. Help me not to be dragged into the hands of the evil one, not to be distracted by the matters of the heart, the matters of love. Because You hold me in Your hands, and You will send my guardian angel down just as when the time comes. God, remind me that Your love is the only love I need. I seek others' love and attention, because I was far away from You, because I felt no love from You, because I chose others over You. O Lord, help me and guide me. I lay my life down at your feet. And You, the Almighty, take the wheel.
