You are all that I need.

夢想.

2012-01-02T16:35:00.000+08:00

2011-11-01T00:40:00.001+08:00

2011-09-30T03:25:00.000+08:00

2011-09-21T13:31:00.000+08:00

这样的暗恋，不像我。

难怪你是卡萨诺瓦。

SAWADEE KA :)

2011-09-15T16:24:00.002+08:00

didn't know having a distant friend feels so great.
it's been 6 years, and some things never change:)

想念。

2011-09-13T01:24:00.003+08:00

因为在体育战场上，
我才是真正的自己。

2011-08-25T01:22:00.002+08:00

失去了的东西，有的是完全的不回来的。

然而，我依然想着过去。

过去与你分享的快乐与悲伤。

一段美丽的友情，却有着那么丑陋的结局...

怀念的，是一起走过的苦与乐。

朋友，你还过得好吗？

2011-08-22T11:23:00.002+08:00

last night, i dreamt of you.

everything was so perfect, so happy,

a dream that i remember so clearly.

so real, that when i woke up, i realised, it was only a dream.

they say dreams never come true.

will that day ever come?

a past it shall be;

2011-08-20T12:17:00.002+08:00

不是因为爱上了另外一个他；

而是因为一开始也许就不属于...

2011-08-10T14:50:00.002+08:00

Almost every single player around me has gone for an overseas trip with their team, be it with the school, the club, or the national squad. I have been for mine during JC, and I have seen how much good it will do. When is it going to be NYP's turn? When is it going to be my batch's turn? Will it ever come?

Stay, or go.

2011-07-09T11:22:00.000+08:00

2011-06-25T01:15:00.001+08:00

2011-05-30T12:55:00.000+08:00

2011-05-25T01:13:00.000+08:00

2011-05-16T00:08:00.001+08:00

the world has been fake all along.

2011-05-10T19:14:00.002+08:00

2011-05-02T14:11:00.000+08:00

2011-04-19T20:09:00.003+08:00

2011-04-19T20:09:00.002+08:00

2011-04-12T00:23:00.000+08:00

2011-04-05T19:41:00.001+08:00

2011-03-25T03:07:00.000+08:00

2011-03-21T10:37:00.000+08:00

2011-03-21T01:48:00.001+08:00

2011-03-15T22:56:00.001+08:00

2011-03-15T15:13:00.000+08:00

2011-03-08T15:43:00.000+08:00

:)

2011-03-03T22:05:00.002+08:00

2011-03-03T15:26:00.000+08:00

2011-03-01T09:14:00.002+08:00

2011-02-28T02:26:00.000+08:00

2011-02-27T01:42:00.000+08:00

2011-02-26T11:47:00.001+08:00

2011-02-23T18:47:00.004+08:00

fly.

2011-02-11T10:05:00.000+08:00

Maybe I don't know where they'll take me

But, gotta keep moving on, moving on

sisters indeed:)

2011-02-09T22:05:00.003+08:00

i wondered if it was telepathy or pure coincidence.
i think, it's just you understanding me (:

giving up.

2011-02-08T10:05:00.002+08:00

nothing seems to be going right for me at all.

tick-tock.

2011-02-06T15:15:00.002+08:00

time by itself, is a bomb

self-destruct.

what a cny.

2011-02-02T22:56:00.004+08:00

coffee. music. notes.

what a way to celebrate cny.

i have a little fighter with me though :)

gone.

2011-02-02T08:29:00.002+08:00

no one. nowhere. nothing.

a body with no soul.

2011-02-01T12:13:00.003+08:00

stop making it look like you're the only one going through this shit.

time is managed by yourself.

if you're stupid, weaker than others, then too bad.

suck your thumb and live with it.

stop depending on others. grow a backbone.

crying doesn't help at all. so just stop all your nonsense and move on.

you can't have all the time in the world.

and the world doesn't revolve around you.

everyone's gotta leave someday.

wake up your idea, and stop whining.

shut up and quit complaining.

if you wanna screw up your studies, go ahead.

just don't end up crying and regretting.

is there something wrong about me?

2011-01-29T10:23:00.002+08:00

it takes another to show you who you really have been.

and i just don't want to be compared that way.

broken.

2011-01-27T17:44:00.002+08:00

poor stress management...

not there yet.

2011-01-26T01:45:00.003+08:00

gotta buck up.

i don't wanna be displaced:(

joy-stick?

2011-01-23T23:54:00.002+08:00

i gotta be mentally ready.

because the next time round, may just be for real...

guess it's a sign...

stressing out.

2011-01-16T10:17:00.000+08:00

mug, and mug, and mug.

so many papers coming up :(

live.

2011-01-12T00:50:00.001+08:00

hilarious, i know. but i almost did.

halt.

2011-01-08T00:13:00.000+08:00

time to put a stop to all the emotional tireness.

where are you?

2011-01-06T13:06:00.002+08:00

give me a reason to fight again.

am i doing it right?

2011-01-02T10:12:00.003+08:00

i was supposed to let you go. but i couldn't.

i know i didn't. i was just in pretence, in a struggle, a battle with self.

would you say yes to me?

useless.

2010-12-30T11:56:00.002+08:00

ever again, or never again?

i'm not even talking about the extremes,

but basics.

the 200th post.

2010-12-27T14:09:00.002+08:00

string was broken long ago.

that, of God.

2010-12-27T09:35:00.000+08:00

may God be the center of everything.

i need a rope; get me out.

2010-12-24T23:14:00.002+08:00

i've fallen deeper than i had imagined.

a daily note to self: let go, let go, let go...

need this real bad.

2010-12-23T20:56:00.002+08:00

yet i know, it'll never happen.

where's the rainbow.

2010-12-20T22:26:00.002+08:00

life seems to be monotonous without you.

where else will take me in.

2010-12-12T15:50:00.001+08:00

'cause i feel like i don't belong here.

turn it all around.

2010-12-07T21:50:00.002+08:00

because i've held on too tightly, till i couldn't let go.
i've walked on a path You didn't call me to.
Dear Lord, what belong to You, i give back.
take it, for i trust in Your loving hands.
heal my heart that is broken.
make me a better friend.

i'll do whatever it takes.

you, me, or we.

2010-12-01T12:27:00.000+08:00

becoming more you, less me.

total silence.

2010-11-27T10:18:00.000+08:00

shhhhhhh....

a listener.

2010-11-21T21:24:00.004+08:00

5 weeks of silence.

all i wanna do for you, is to listen.

i hope i learn how to.

you go girl.

2010-11-19T22:56:00.004+08:00

if you don't entertain better than games, then shoo.

if you don't know how to listen, then dig your ears hard.

if you don't know the right things to say, then shut up.

if you don't know what are the right things to do, then leave.

for better is you without me.

then again, i just can't let go of you.

2010-11-13T22:59:00.001+08:00

where am i... or in fact, who am i?

let go.

2010-10-31T22:56:00.007+08:00

been holding on to you for too long.

been used to having you too much.

now that i know, you can find your happiness, your joy.

now i know, it's time.

my world is changing, changing for the better.

my world is happy, and i will be happy too.

you are my world.

non-existence.

2010-10-19T23:49:00.000+08:00

will your world be more peaceful without me? hmmm...

still trying.

2010-10-18T20:57:00.001+08:00

i try and i try, but i never get things right.

let go.

2010-10-02T23:25:00.002+08:00

time to let you go,
to stop tying you down,
to let you return to the world.

words.

2010-09-22T14:36:00.001+08:00

some things still lingering at the back of my mind.
some things i still wish i knew the answer to.

blah.

2010-09-12T23:47:00.001+08:00

i've said it all:)))

patience.

2010-09-12T18:43:00.000+08:00

all i can do is wait and see.

give.

2010-09-11T22:05:00.001+08:00

Give give (and I'll have no regrets)
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give.

gone.

2010-09-10T22:42:00.001+08:00

i give up.
because i'm gonna give it all.

stressed out.

2010-09-01T00:14:00.003+08:00

emo.
bites. slashing. scars. all these filling up my mind.
tears. ran dry.
i've lost my soul.
the sun has stopped shining.
tonight wasn't near good.
i don't see my tomorrow anywhere near okay.
it's one without you.
it's what i need to get used to.
i've lost myself in you.
once again, it's goodbye smile, hello tears.

end of the day, i just need to realise, all i did was stupid and naive.
it is only i who needs you, not you who needs i.
because you're okay without me, but i'm not.

bottle it up.

2010-08-18T00:20:00.002+08:00

keep it inside.
soon it'll be forgotten.
not everything.

lovely whispers.

2010-08-10T13:33:00.002+08:00

talk to me, 24/7. on anything. about everything.
i never minded you nagging, never minded you scolding, never minded you caring.
'cause that's everything i love about you((((:

ALWAYS HAPPY.

2010-08-09T17:06:00.002+08:00

harsh reality is, i cannot be a person with temper, a person with moodswing.

i can only be happy. i'll try. happy. yes. happy.

DISAPPEAR.

2010-08-08T23:40:00.001+08:00

some in this world are just not born to do certain things.
i just shouldn't have be born.

be quiet.

2010-08-08T00:04:00.003+08:00

this blog's gonna be quieter:)

it's not just holidays.

2010-08-07T00:05:00.002+08:00

yesss. our first movie together((((:

it's not just holidays, or a nice movie, or not having exams.
it's not just about the freedom that i'm enjoying temporarily.
it's not just about the things you do, the way you say it, or the little gestures you make.

it's all about you(((((:

mess.

2010-08-03T22:23:00.001+08:00

everything's just a mess.
i don't know what i'm doing already.
help me, O Lord...

let go. let go.

2010-08-01T01:27:00.003+08:00

POL-ITE. one day.
trainings. months for some, years for others.
memories, A LIFETIME.

7 players score points.
24 players on the line.
behind us, are all of you.
juniors, seniors, alumni.
who went through it all with us. for us.

who are we? NYPUltimate.
who are we? ONE BIG FAMILY.
this is why we are diiferent((((:

thank you all of you. ALL OF YOU. for everything that has been done for the sake of the team.

most importantly, thank you, for being there to guide, to teach, to encourage, to support, to push, to scold, to scream, to cheer me on. thank you, my lovely sister:))))

POL-ITE 2010.

2010-07-30T23:31:00.002+08:00

this will not be my downfall. i will soar, up high.
this will not tire me out. i will run it down.
this will not break me down. i will fight it back.

you shall not scare me. i will make you fear.
you shall not bully me. i will make you pay.

we are a team. we are one.
we will not fall. we hold on tight.
we will laugh. we will shout.
we will try. we will push.

intensity. composure.
agressive. calm.
relaxed. fast.
now. forever.

for NYPUltimate. for God's glory.
this is not the end. this is just a beginning.

happiness.

2010-07-29T00:44:00.003+08:00

because with you, i am((((((((((:

nobody.

2010-07-26T23:42:00.004+08:00

we have each other's interests at heart.
doing only what is logically right for one another.
but do you know i rather spend time talking to you,
knowing your joy, your pain,
emo-ing with you even.
i just don't want you to go through it alone.
but yes, i gotta understand,
your life, your choice.
what you choose to say, i will listen.
what you choose to keep it inside, i respect it.

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

i'm just a pain in the ass who bothers too much.

victory.

2010-07-25T22:52:00.002+08:00

i simply need to trust.

trust my coach.
trust my team.
trust myself.
trust God.
for victory is His, and the devil's not gonna just take me down this way with negative thoughts and low self confidence.
i can. i will. i may not have the thinking, but i'm up for this. physically. emotionally. mentally.
i'm strong, and therefore I WILL BE.
NO MORE TEARS.

cry myself to bed.

2010-07-25T00:24:00.005+08:00

maybe i'm not that mentally strong after all...

sealed lips.

2010-07-24T01:13:00.001+08:00

sometimes it's better for me to keep my mouth shut.

so close, yet so far.

2010-07-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

too close?
or are we still so far apart?
are you suffocating already?
should i back it off, and shy away...

i'm a screwdriver.

2010-07-18T23:12:00.001+08:00

i screw things up.

reality check.

2010-07-15T16:52:00.009+08:00

what the hell. i gave up on looking for photos. i dislike using words to express myself. yet, my world don't deserve to be colourful.

today was pure moody. pure bad.

too much.

2010-07-11T21:06:00.001+08:00

i gotta know my limits. your limits. period.

God, I don't get it.

2010-07-06T23:19:00.004+08:00

like a useless good-for-nothing. ask me to do anything, and i would. if it makes you happy.

but i can do nothing. at all. can't change your life. can't lighten your burden.

can't make you smile. can't make you smile. can't make you smile.

God, I don't get it too. Why put her through so much? Pruning? Or is that torture? Please see her through everything... Even as she doesn't know You, give her the joy that comes from You. A surprisingly enjoyable feeling. Take her pain away and give her comfort. 'cause You know how dear she is to me. Please don't do this to her...

my everything.

2010-07-02T23:18:00.002+08:00

you're my sunshine, my only sunshine.
you make me happy, when skies are grey.
you never know dear, how much i love you.
please don't take my sunshine away.

and even when you choose to be the rain, i'll be your sunshine:D

wake up my idea.

2010-06-30T10:15:00.002+08:00

the real thing is here. papers after papers. pracs after pracs.
no more fooling. no more jokes.
no more playtime, no more fun.
it's study study study.
that's my priority now. get it into my head.
*stress-o-meter has been upgraded to measure greater intensity 'cause the old one spoilt*

you and me.

2010-06-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

everyday with you is a happy day.

love you, jie:)

stop.

2010-06-25T22:45:00.002+08:00

i gotta put a stop to all these.

the battle has just begun.

2010-06-24T14:08:00.003+08:00

training camp is just over.
more expectations. more running. more catching. more layouts.
more stress. more muscle aches. more disappointment.
more friends. more laughter. more bonding.
more hardship. more pain. more spirit.

the battle has just begun.

child-like faith.

2010-06-18T23:36:00.004+08:00

even though throughout the camp, i didn't literally feel God's presence or feel the Holy Spirit moved in my heart, God has truly shown me once again, that He is always by my side. again and again, as I worried, God has proven that He continues to bless the Commonwealth ministry. Weather was provided again and again, and even as I got anxious, things continued to fall in place. I picked up so much things from camp, from the children at tanglin halt.

faith. faith in God. child-like faith in God.

happy birthday Blackberry:))))

2010-06-14T18:04:00.001+08:00

14th June 2009. When little Blackberry was born.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:)))))

to whom shall i call out to.

2010-06-14T00:03:00.002+08:00

today, wasn't much a very good day. had my very first competitive ultimate frisbee game.

stats was empty. nothing. contribution was zero. nothing. i was nothing. that's how it was.

happy. pissed. flared up. you emo. i emo. that's how you can affect me.

but think about it again... my priorities are downside up. you shouldn't affect me. i shouldn't be interferring too much into your emotions. i can't spend so much time talking to you on msn. especially if i want you to be saved. i should be talking to God more about you, about the good of you, the not-so-good of you; the you i know, the you i don't know. my life is to be God-centered, not jie-centered. priorities. all messed up.

God, I pray for this half-a-kinship and this friendship between the two of us to continue to grow. As we continue to know each other more, about our similarities and differences, bring us through the laughters and joy, as well as rain and storms. I pray that, eventually, we'll really become true sisters, sisters in Christ. Thank you my dear Lord. Amen.